I guess I shouldn't be surprised that today has already started off demanding. Mama wants me to go to McDonalds and get her a small Caramel Frappe and so that means I need to get food for Fred too. I just wanted to spend the morning fixing me a bowl of cereal and drinking the rest of my lemonade. I can already tell it's gonna be a long ass week.
I need to get up and get ready.
And I need to forget all and every plan of trying to take a nap. After a week and a half trying to do that I've come to the decision it doesn't work out.
I am so tired. I just feel weak and drained. Maybe it has something to do with the hunger. I don't know. Mama's been needing constant attention and watching over since her surgery last monday. She's not healing as fast as she should. I don't mind. I really don't. Its part of the job and I'll take care of my mom in a heartbeat. But that doesn't make it any less emotionally draining. I've gone grocery shopping for the last 5 days in a row. I stay up late because mama is staying up late. Not because I want to. I wake up early in the morning- something I'm not really use to. And it's kinda hard to take a nap because people are calling every five fucking minutes checking up on her.
I know it's not their fault and they are just worried but damn. And papa just cooked and Fred went to get the food but he couldn't bring me back some because granny told me I gotta get myself?
Like, why? Why is it impossible for me to be tired? To be drained? I may not do nearly as much but my body isn't use to this. I just feel aggravated right now. Throw that on top of watching a 12 year old- fuck yeah I'm tired.
And bless mama's heart she asked me if I was mad at her. I could never be mad at her for something like this. I'm mad at the fact that my brother is a disgusting, spoiled piece of meat and I'm frustrated that the healing process is taking so long.
Yeah, I am missing out on my summer a little. I got invited to Dallas from my best friend but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I'm probably gonna sit here for awhile until I can slide on some shoes and go get food. Titties out and all. IDGAF.